Yoko Ono Warns Beatles Fans of Possible Suffocation Risk

“Steve Jobs has his own idea and he’s a brilliant guy,” says Yoko Ono of that guy with the sweater. “There’s just an element that we’re not very happy about, as people.” She’s referring, of course, to the Beatle’s continued absence from the iTunes Store.

It’s almost ludicrous that the band’s catalog hasn’t reached the store – this is the goddamn Beatles we’re discussing. But Yoko doesn’t sound very optimistic. “Don’t hold your breath… for anything,” she says.

Frankly, one has to wonder: it’s safe to say at this point that the Beatles’ appearance in the iTunes store would primarily benefit a new generation of ‘fans’, right? Like, this is just for posterity’s sake, yeah? Surely all the die-hard Beatles fans would’ve simply ripped their own collections by now.

You’re missing the boat, Yoko. At this rate, there’ll have to be some pretty fancy special features or something to entice anyone who’d give a damn to actually purchase the Beatles collection yet again. Maybe an exclusive album remix of Let It Be by Junkie XL. I’d buy that for a dollar.